DO YOU LIKE THIS PART FROM MY BOOK?

I don't really like it to much either. It's poorly written and I have no idea what is happening and the entire world (except obsessed teenage girls) are sick of vampires, try coming up with your own monsters. Sometimes I wonder how many hundreds of books wouldn't exist because of ONE person's original idea (I like sometimes when people use history), but if you are going to use Vampires at least try harder to make them your very own creatures. If the Vampires in your book cant be bitten by others then they arent Vampires! they can be something completely different that people might love even more. why don't you just add more differences between your "vampires" and call them something completely different?! Show some creativity and change things!!! . 'i' is supposed to be capitalized also